I was discussing gender with a friend the other day, surprise! I know, I almost never talk about gender… so anyways, we progress through the conversation about the ridiculousness of the binary and the boxes people like to put each other in when they meet. We were talking about passing, as in, being perceived as one side of the binary or the other and I realized that I have this magical button. No, not that one, you dirty bird. I’m referring to my magical gender override button. If you think about it, all the binary social queues I am publicly displaying put me on the masculine side of the spectrum. However, all I have to say is that I am FAAB (female assigned at birth) and I am magically female, in the binary sense. Somehow all of the social queues that I am sending are erased when I press this button. Once I make the reveal that I’m FAAB, even though I actually identify as being in the middle of the gender spectrum, people have no issue swapping over to feminine pronouns in relation to me and I am not given any resistance about my binary gender box.
Let me reinforce here that I do not agree with the gender binary, gender is a spectrum, just like sexuality but I am only referring in binary terms here due to language constraints and how I can portray my point effectively. (Sidebar: here is a good article about the science behind the gender spectrum)
The button seems ridiculous to me because if I compare my public presentation and social queues to that of a transwoman, she is often given resistance and questioned about her female gender identity. However, she is female, feels female and giving all social queues in the feminine spectrum yet somehow I am “more female” than she is even though I don’t even necessarily identify as female! I hope the irony of this situation is clear in my writing. Ugh, the binary, when can society get over you.