Sometimes when I go to straight bars or clubs, I feel like I am in a petting zoo. As soon as tipsy hetero ladies notice that I have boobs, they barely get a chance to blurt out “Can I…” before grabbing a “D-cup full”. I’m a bit mystified at this since I expect they would throw a drink in my face if I did the same to them. As it has happened more frequently in the past few months, I started mulling over this phenomenon in my mind. I can’t imagine what 1. would be so interesting about my chest, seeing as they have a pair of their own and 2. why they feel they can just jump right in for a squeeze.
I have two theories about this curiosity. One is that if you are perceived as masculine, even though you are clearly female, it allows some wiggle room for what is appropriate. Perhaps these ladies think that if they saw a guy they could touch his chest without permission so this “inherent permission” is passed on to me since I am outwardly masculine in appearance (though still clearly female). My second theory is that I am some sort of freak show study, “oh, a lesbian, can I pet you?”. Perhaps these young dames have not met one from the homo-persuasion before and want to make sure we really exist so they need to double check that I am, in fact, a lesbian with authentic knockers via a quick fondle? Whatever it is, I’d like to send a general message to all the straight ladies out there – thanks for the thought, it was sweet but I’m ready to be over this phase now. Happy squeezing (your own, not mine)!